Educating for Human Happiness

A list I revised from a blog post, What Should a 4 Year Old Know, at the blog A Magical Childhood. I was so inspired by this blog post that I decided that I needed to create a list for my Homeschool Planner binder to remind me that everyday my sons education contains these characteristics. It has helped me set my goals and build my curriculum.

Our family Homeschool mission statement was written before I read this post, but these points reinforce our mission:

In the Morgan Family Homeschool we will nurture the natural curiosity, spiritual capacities, and emotional intellect of our children through cultivating a lifelong love of learning in a loving home environment.

WHAT LITTLE CHILDREN SHOULD KNOW:

HE should know that he is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.

HE should know that he is safe and he should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn't feel right, no matter who is asking.

HE should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use his imagination.

HE should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he couldn’t care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he’ll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.

HE should know that the world is magical and that so is he.

He should know that he’s wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvelous.

HE should know that it’s just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that– way more worthy.

WHAT EVERY PARENT SHOULD KNOW:

Every child learns at his own pace: children learn to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra.

Take the time every day to sit and read them wonderful books. The single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers.

One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood. That being the smartest or most accomplished kid has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children “advantages” that we’re giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours.

Our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. -- Building toys, art materials, musical instruments, dress up clothes, and books, books, books. They need to have the freedom to explore – to play with scoops of dried beans, to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter, to have a spot in the yard where it’s absolutely fine to dig a mud pit.

Our children need more of us. They deserve to know that they’re a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them. Our children don’t need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US. They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take slow walks with them. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work.

Frozen Fans Get Stuck on the Wrong Message

First off understand me, I loved the movie Frozen, it may even be my favorite Disney movie to date. I loved the movie because of the beautiful message that in love is the power to overcoming our challenges. I loved the layers of spiritual truth in the story and the opportunity that it presents to use the appealing movie to teach my children timeless truths.

What is bugging me is that so many people I observe on social media and in my personal acquaintance seem to be latching on to the absolute wrong message from the story. Rather than perceiving the transcendent truth that we are all flawed individuals whose weaknesses are only overcome through love and faith, it appears that many are caught up in the message of the title song that celebrates a deceptive freedom that comes from "testing the limits" where there is "no right, no wrong, and no rules." I understand why the song is so popular, it is very catchy, and really fun to sing; one of those songs that just gets stuck in your head and you can't stop singing it. Perhaps that's another reason it bugs me.

Unlike other Disney movies, the evil the heroines fight in this movie is much more like that which each of us fight within ourselves in real life. It is not a fire breathing dragon, a wicked sorcerer, or an evil witch, rather it is the subtle lies of the devil that cause us to respond to our human weakness by turning away from faith, obedience, and the love of God. Elsa has an extraordinary power that is also a great challenge to her and her family. Afraid of her strength her parents teach her to hide away and fear her power.

We are all like Elsa in a way, we all have God given gifts (talents) that used properly give us extraordinary power and bring great joy to us. What is also true is that most often our greatest strengths are on the flip side our greatest weakness. My mom used to say that these talents are like coins with a heads side and a tales side. Too often we focus on the tails side, the down side, and wish we could eliminate it because we fear that we will never overcome or learn to control our weakness. Too often we respond to this weakness by attempting to throw out the whole coin. Unfortunately, when we do, we throw out the good with the bad. As a result our personal growth is stunted, not only do we never learn how to control our "flip-side", we don't develop our strength. We succeed only in making ourselves miserable and pushing away the people we love as we lose what we love most about ourselves. This is what happens to Elsa as she responds to her power and weakness by hiding in fear.

When we respond to our challenges and weaknesses the way that Elsa learns to it almost always leads to disaster. Elsa meets that disaster when she seeks "freedom" from years of confusion by turning her back on her home and any sense of obligation. Here is where the title song "Let it Go", that is propelling a pop culture sensation over the movie Frozen, steps into the story. In Elsa's desperation to feel in control of her power she succumbs to a subtle lie, the lie that you can be free by simply throwing off the confines of right and wrong and letting go of your obligations and concerns. She turns her back on her sister's love, her obligations to her kingdom, and her home and runs away. The song that describes this moment of emotional release from her burdens has become a hit. I understand why the sense of liberation and freedom is appealing, but I think most people don't realize when their singing the song and feeling triumphant about it that they are celebrating a true deception. Perhaps they do not internalize the lyrics as I do.

Here are some choice words from the song:

Be the good girl you always have to be. [implying that being "good" is an unwanted obligation]
Conceal don't feel, don't let them know... [representing the way her parents wrongfully taught her to respond to her challenges]

Let it go, let it go.
Turn away and slam the door. [representing her choice to turn away from her home]
I don't care what they're going to say.
Let the storm rage on.
The cold never bothered me anyway... [making a choice to ignore the pain her actions will cause to those who love her most]

It's time to see what I can do,
to test the limits and break through.
No right, no wrong, no rules for me. I'm free!... [The ultimate lie. That life with no right, wrong, and rules is true freedom]

My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around... [Captures the truth of what happens when we throw off our moral compass]
I'm never going back...

That perfect girl is gone...
Let the storm rage on!
The cold never bothered me anyway.

When I watched the movie this song stirred painful memories of my own poor choices to rebel in my youth, to turn my back on my faith and my family, and to pretend it didn't "bother me anyway". It was a time in my youth when I didn't understand how to access the grace of Christ in tackling human weakness and was tired of trying to be a "good girl". I bought into the lie that turning my back on my moral compass and my family obligations would set me free. For a short time I felt a sense of liberation but that feeling was fleeting and empty and the result of my choice was the greatest misery I have every known. So I hope you can understand why it is so disturbing that this song was chosen by the producers as the title song, the song to represent the message of the movie, and marketed to be a smash hit when in reality it represents the evil that threatens to tear us away from that which matters most.

I understand why my four year old latches naively onto the title song but how can so many adults I know seem to miss the meaning of this song? The words "Let it Go" by themselves could in some context be good but in the context of the story one should ask, "What is Elsa letting go of and whether it in reality will set her free?" The pop version of the song has 49+ million views on YouTube, is nominated for an academy award, and it's deceptive message is glorified in posters that race around social media as a song of triumphant liberation.

The tragedy of it all is that the beautiful truths in the story are lost in an almost singular focus on the wrong message. Elsa's little sister never gives up on her, she embarks on a perilous journey to bring her home, to show her she is loved. Her character is a symbol of Christ's love that is ever constant, ever knocking at the door. Elsa learns that her challenges can be faced and conquered because of that love and in the end she chooses love and faith over fear and doubt. There are deep spiritual messages and Christian themes in this wonderful story and for that reason it is very disappointing to see so many people fail to realize these themes and instead pick out the lie and take it for truth.

For this reason I wonder about the intent behind the marketing of this catchy song as the title song. Every time I hear my four year old singing the impressionable tune and belting out the words, "no right, no wrong, no rules for me, I'm free!" I wish the producers had not chosen to sell this message so craftily. For parents wondering how to help their little children pick up on the moral of the story, there is another song in the movie that is worth celebrating, the song "Fixer Upper". These lyrics are worth repeating over and over.

"Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper,
That’s what it’s all about!
Father!
Sister!
Brother!
We need each other to raise
Us up and round us out.

Everyone’s a bit of a fixer-upper,
But when push comes to shove.
The only fixer-upper fixer
That can fix up a fixer-upper is
True! true!
True, true, true!
Love (True love)"



Like I said, Frozen may be my favorite Disney movie of all time, the story tackles the true enemy we all face, an enemy that seeks to confuse us and twist truth until we throw away those that have the power to help us realize our true potential. I only hope that the depth of this story isn't lost on a pop culture infatuation with a hollow feeling stirred up by the false freedom of "letting go" of what matters most.