My Recommendations for Parents Homeshooling their Dyslexic Child

Let's Start with WHAT MATTERS MOST!

The most important advise I can give to parents and teachers of dyslexic children is to be patient and encouraging and to be OK with going slow. Go at your child’s pace and don’t move on to new concepts until they feel comfortable where they are at. For some dyslexic children, especially profoundly dyslexic children, this will mean being years behind their peers. Don’t compare them with other kids. Do what you can to help them not compare themselves (though they will). LOVE them!! Comfort them!! Feed their interests outside basic reading, writing, and arithmetic; and don’t wait for those basic skills to develop to teach them science, history, art, technology, and any other interesting subject areas. Use documentaries, read to them, do projects together, get out the house and learn on the go, learn through experiences, learn skills through doing. Make everything outside of reading, writing, and math as fun as you can, because those basic skills will be drudgery for them. Show them the world is full of learning and that it is fun and interesting otherwise they will lose interest in learning long before they establish their basic academic skills.

It’s not easy but it’s essential with dyslexic children to take the long view. As hard as it is for you it’s ten times harder for your kids if you are frustrated with their pace. They are going to have to work ten times harder than their non-dyslexic peers to learn the basic academic skills. They are going to get discouraged and struggle to find the motivation to keep going, they are going to struggle with their self esteem; this is the hardships they face.

Their attitude about this struggle is going to make the biggest difference in their road to mastery over their dyslexia. If they can meet their challenges with cheerful determination they will have the power to unlock their strengths and come to peace with their differences. You can show them how to be cheerful and patient in the slow going, how to hold on and be calm, how to be at peace with the process. You show them how by doing it yourself. Telling them to be patient, to believe in themselves, and to be calm will mean very little if you aren't patient, if you don't believe, and if you don't remain calm. If you face the challenges of dyslexia with the belief that they will learn, they will progress, and that it’s perfectly OK to go about it slowly; you can be patient and cheerful in your teaching. You can be OK repeating things over and over as if that’s perfectly normal; after all, it is “normal” in your home.

The greatest enemy to this process is fear. Fear that you will fail, fear that they won’t learn. Kids can feel your fear and they will soak it into their bones… it is utterly toxic! Its fear that makes us impatient and frustrated with the process. I know how hard this is. I have fought the fear dragon for many years. I know that with each dyslexic child you are raising you are dealing not only with dyslexia but personality, aptitude, personal interest, character development and because of all these factors some children are going to struggle more than others. Some children will be more contrary and irascible, more despairing, less pliable, or less teachable. Hang in there! For love of them, and in the faith that people grow up and mature, continue setting your quiet yet powerful example, and be there to pick up the work again and again. Listen to me, a mom of grown-up dyslexics — a wife to a dyslexic — they will learn it, they will progress, they will not fail and you will not fail them so long as you don’t give up and you stay calm and carry on.

Find ways for your child to learn skills outside the classroom, ways for your child to learn from doing, experiencing learning through experience and exploration is critical for dyslexic kids.

MY DYSLEXIC TOOLBOX & CURRICULUM RECOMENDATIONS:

EARLY INSTRUCTION FOR DYSLEXIC CHILDREN:

The experts in dyslexic research largely agree that early multi-sensory systematic instruction in language arts is ideal for giving a dyslexic learner the best chance at successful elementary education. The difficulty is in screening young children for dyslexia. Do you know that in the UK they use Orton-Gillingham based reading instruction for all students from the start. In Britain they recognize that English is a very difficult language and presents significant challenges for the 20% of the population that is dyslexic. They recognize that it’s difficult to screen for dyslexia in young children because all five and six year old's are still processing language on the right side of the brain. Only after 7 or 8 does the dyslexia come into full focus, and at this time the dyslexic child falls behind their peers rapidly as their peers accelerate into the automaticity of left-brained language processing. Therefore, schools in Britain use Orton-Gillingham instructional methods for everyone, and why not? It’s excellent reading and language instruction for every English speaker.

Orton-Gillingham is an instructional philosophy that was developed by Samuel Torrey Orton (1879–1948), a neuropsychiatrist and pathologist at Columbia University, studied children with language-processing difficulties such as dyslexia. Together with educator and psychologist Anna Gillingham (1878–1963), he created techniques to teach reading, which integrate kinesthetic (movement-based) and tactile (sensory-based) learning strategies with teaching of visual and auditory concepts.

My advise for parents who know there is a genetic probability their child could be dyslexic — because of known dyslexia in the family — or for parents who suspect dyslexia but aren’t yet sure because their child is young, is to use a quality Orton-Gillingham based curriculum. While this approach is most commonly associated with teaching individuals with dyslexia, it is highly effective for all individuals learning to read, spell, and write. You can rest assured that you have chosen a solid instructional program for your child whether or not they have a dyslexic brain.

A BOOK EVERYONE SHOULD READ!

If you were to read one book about dyslexia the one I would recommend is the one that was a game changer for me and my dyslexic son. This book is solid science and gives a complete understanding of dyslexic thinkers — their strengths and challenges and why — but most importantly it will help you understand your children and help your children understand their strengths and gifts, and view their challenges as worth the advantages that will come as they grown into their brains.

The Dyslexic Advantage: Unlocking the Hidden Potential of the Dyslexic Brain


HERE ARE THE CURRICULUMS THAT HAVE WORKED BEST FOR MY HOMESCHOOL:

ELA:
All About Reading & All About Spelling
Handwriting Without Tears (for elementary ED)

The Good & the Beautiful Handwriting (if additional penmanship is needed past elementary)
Explode the code workbooks for extra phonics and handwriting practice.

Here is a reading tool I highly recommend to enhance guided reading. These highlight strips are very effective for dyslexia because the colored overlays improve reading tracking and reduce visual stress: https://a.co/d/gXTrqCZ

WRITING:
Writing Skills by Diana Hanbury King — 30 year teacher at a private school for dyslexic students wrote this systematic incremental approach to developing competent technical writing skills. A fantastic program that transformed my son’s writing abilities in a couple years. My son is 13 now and writing good essays.

Writing Skills Books Set (5 Books) - Book A (Grades 2-4), Book 1 (Grades 5-6), Book 2, Book 3 and Teacher's Handbook https://a.co/d/9MbIwUI

TYPING
KAZ: For Dyslexia

Typing.com

MATH

Early ED:

Discovery Methods, using math manipulatives. MathInspirations.com has fantastic training for parents teaching children through a discovery method.

School house rock multiplication songs helped my son memorize his facts.
Pet Bingo for math fact memorization.

Elementary, Middle & High School: (3rd grade and up)

Khan Academy Math

CTC Math

Teaching Textbooks

All Consumed Consumer Math


ELECTRONIC SUPPORT

Noteability
Voice-to-text dictation on Microsoft
Speechify to aid your child in reading text books.
Audio Books: LibriVox & Audible


FOR DYSLEXIC STUDENTS WHO ARE IN UPPER ELEMENTARY & MIDDLE BUT HAVE VERY LITTLE LANGUAGE FLUENCY:

I would suggest you use “All About Spelling” as your language curriculum. It teaches the same lessons the student learns in the AAR reading curriculum but without the little kiddie reading games. Pair this program with the writing road to reading, meaning you teach writing and enable your child in their writing development which leads to reading.

I highly recommend Writing Skills by Diana Hanbury King. If handwriting is a challenge, use voice to text (Microsoft has a great dictation assistant, or if you are using an Apple device the Notability app is useful as a digital writing notebook.) Your child will learn to read through development of their ability to edit their own writing.

Keep up on penmanship as an art, I used handwriting without tears books when my son was little, but I’ve had to keep him constantly working on a penmanship program, and now he does TG&TB handwriting books. I expect he will continue to work on penmanship this way through high school since his primary way of completing school work is through keyboarding and voice to text technology.

Finding interesting and engaging reading content for a older student who has significant reading delay is the most difficult part. With these kinds of dyslexic delays it’s the convergence of age appropriate content and reading level that causes the lack of interest. I’ve found some good books at this site:

https://www.barringtonstoke.co.uk/dyslexic-reluctant-readers/

They specialize in finding interesting easy to read content for dyslexics which are struggling with their delayed fluency. In the end my son’s reading ability had to catch up with his literary interest before he began reading novels.

To aid the writing road to reading, get your child into a good typing program. I used: KAZ: For Dyslexia

https://kaz-type.com/products/dyslexia-edition

My profoundly dyslexic teen is reading Tolkien now and is a good writer. He has learned to read at an advanced level though he will be slower than most adults. — I must add that through the years I’ve fed his love of literature by having him listen to audio books. This has helped him develop as a writer, his vocabulary and sentence structure is mature because of his exposure to good literature.

A Successful Homeschooler

I responded to a Facebook thread recently where a mother considering homeschool asked what accounts for the studies showing that Homeschooled individuals do better in most life metrics over their public schooled counterparts. (She was siting research that shows that homeschooled individuals who attend college are more likely to excel in college and all homeschooled individuals report higher satisfaction in their adult lives, here and here) She wanted to know what makes a successful homeschool, as there are examples of homeschool failure just as there are examples of public school failure, but overall why do homeschooled students do so well in their adult lives?

Here was my answer:

With the right attitude toward learning at home and good home management and structure — not the same as “school structure” — children are taught correct principles and learn to govern themselves. They have the opportunity to take ownership of their education and learning, and they develop the character and skills to be successful in any chosen path. They are given the opportunity to fail and succeed in a natural way that helps them learn that they are the agents in their own success.

They do not spend their educational years under constants supervision, over-programmed, and spoon fed information. They do not learn to rely on rubric managed assignment centric models, false comparisons, and grade structures. They have the advantage of a developmentally appropriate education that is highly personalized and paced to match their strengths and weaknesses — Public education in America is NOT developmentally appropriate, is structured on false pacing that puts pressure on students weaknesses and holds back their geniuses, and teaches intellectual dependence.

What happens in successful homeschools is not “school” but rather education and human development. Of course “school” happens as skills are learned that enable education but that is a small part of what is learned. Children also have the opportunity to learn by study and also by faith, they have more opportunities to learn that God is the source of intelligence and wisdom and through his power they can unlock their potential, enlighten their minds, and do hard things without being constantly managed by the adults around them. This creates emotionally and spiritually mature people. What happens when children learn at home is a natural extension of family life and natural development.

Couple famous quotes to ponder:

“Education is not the filling of pail but the lighting of a fire.”

“Don’t let school interfere with your education.”

“Children should be instructed in the principles of freedom.”

Why I Homeschool, And Why You Should Too!

People ask me often, why I homeschool. It’s not an easy question to answer because there are so many reasons and the question deserves a long sit down conversation, but here is my attempt to answer the question in one paragraph:

Public education in America is not developmentally appropriate, severs children from their families, is structured on false pacing that puts pressure on students’ weaknesses and holds back their geniuses, teaches intellectual dependence, destroys belief in God, does not instruct in the principles of liberty, does not model natural choice and consequence, teaches false reasoning based on false assumptions, omits important historical context for deceptive purposes, has begun to deconstruct western civilization and the philosophical and moral underpinnings of our nation, and to put the nail in the coffin the institutions can no longer keep children safe from bullying, sexual exploitation, or violent crime.

“All experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”

When will we reach the point when our government schools are unsufferable in their design to reduce us to absolute despotism? And will we the people have the cuttings to throw off these institutions and provide new guards for our children? We must do it soon, for as Abraham Lincoln so astutely observed, “The school room in one generation is the government in the next.”

Why Testing is Not Necessary in Elementary School

A question homeschool parents are often asked by curious friends and family and teacher friends is, "How do you know if your child is learning?" This question assumes that a teacher needs regular tests to assess a students progress, and of course most homeschooled students don't take regular tests and usually no standardized tests. Here's how I answer this question:

Public schools in the United States use tests to gauge the progress of students because teachers have to track over a dozen students (most classes having over 20 students) at one time — in an environment that makes it impossible for teachers to have one-on-one time to assess their students in a observational way. Observational assessment is a more meaningful way to access progress than standardized testing, but it can only be done when teachers are engaged in more interactive types of instructional methods — and take the time to observe students individually.

Testing in the public school way is not helpful to the development of young children. In has a negative impact on a child's development that is not worth the data derived from it — and high-stakes standardized testing, done every year in US schools, is particularly harmful. In Finland, where the education system is developmentally appropriate, teachers use healthy models of interactive instruction & observation. Students don't take their first standardized test until 8th grade, and in early elementary assessments are observation based, not formal tests. This school system ranks at the top in international tests given to their students in 10th grade.

Homeschool parents use the most healthy and effective form of observational assessment to mark the progress of their children. They do not need regular tests or intensive standardized testing to know their children are learning and developing academically. The intuitive teaching and learning relationship between a parent and their child as they homeschool is powerful and homeschool parents have a better understanding of their child's strengths and weaknesses, knowledge and deficits, than standard tests are able to reveal in their public school counterparts.

Most homeschooled students begin taking standard quizzes and tests, though, not necessarily standardized tests, in 7th or 8th grade, and they are often doing more standardized curriculum and courses complete with standard tests in their high school years. In most cases homeschool families find this adequate preparation for college entry testing and college preparation. Homeschoolers are proving that early frequent testing is not only unnecessary but developmentally inappropriate.

Stop the Homeschool Fights & Instill Independence in Your Child's Learning

Everyday there are questions posted in homeschool groups across the country from homeschool parents just starting out or struggling to keep going. Many of the question are repeated over and over by different parents and it's hard for veteran homeschool moms like me to find the time to mentor very many by constantly answering those questions. I want to answer. I want to help, but there are just too many people asking.

This frustration has increased this past year as so many parents found themselves homeschooling during COVID and now that schools are opening again there are many who are choosing to continue homeschooling. I've decided to start a series of blog posts that answer questions that are regularly asked by new homeschool parents in these online groups. I hope these blog posts will help me to mentor more struggling homeschool parents than I otherwise would have the time to respond to.

My first subject should cover many variations of the same question.

HOW DO I STOP THE FIGHTS OVER GETTING SCHOOL WORK DONE?

Joke!

First of all, it's important for me to tell you that all homeschooling parents are struggling in one way or another to find what works best for their child (children). Choosing the right teaching methods and curriculums that best fit each child and the family culture is a trial and error process in itself. Forming the right home and school management system is as important as methods and curriculums, and really it must come first, which is why I'm taking up this topic first.

Today in a Facebook group a mother posted: "Today's first day of homeschool freaking sucked! My daughter... was fighting me all day and it's continuing into the evening with her being out of control. Her mind constantly wanders too, something that would normally take a few minutes takes half an hour. What has helped your child have a much more successful day? And how do you stay patient when your child is throwing a tantrum every 5 minutes? I tried being patient today but you can only hold so much patience."

DISCLAIMERS:

First of all, before I answer this question, let me say that what I’m going to recommend in answer to this question is the kind of structure that children are usually not ready for until 7 years old. Before 7 school should be play based with very little direct instruction. Routines, but not necessarily structure, should rule the pre-K and early ED management. There is no reason to set requirements for daily curriculums before age 7. I've written a blog post on early childhood education and what is developmentally appropriate. If you are struggling the way this mom is with a very young child, even a 7 year old, you need to STOP, step back, and change your approach to education. Early ED (4-8) is a completely different kind of education then the kind of structure and direct instruction that comes later. See my post on developmentally appropriate education here.

Also, if your child has behavioral and learning challenges please consider whether or not your child might be dyslexic or have other neurodiverse learning challenges. Dyslexia can be caught young if you know what it is and how to look for it and it is the number one learning challenge for human beings with 20% of humans having dyslexic brains. Here is my post on the subject of dyslexia. My youngest is profoundly dyslexic and some of the challenges we have faced in education are because of his dyslexia, however, the answer to the question I will give has worked wonderfully for him and learning challenges should never be an excuse not to teach a child to self-govern.

Teaching Self-Government and Instilling Independence in your Child's Learning

What has worked for me is to realize I wasn’t going to get anywhere with my son if I was constantly in the supervisory role. If it was my program, my way, then it would be a constant fight. That is exactly how school was going for me with my youngest from about the age of 8 when I started a more structured school curriculum and direct instruction. It so happened that this was also the age that I began to suspect that my son was dyslexic and needed more intensive systematic reading instruction.

I rode my son constantly. I felt like I had made myself his school jailer and was driving myself and him insane. The worst part was that I knew I was destroying our relationship. Thanks to a very good friend and a homeschool mentor of mine, I made a major philosophy switch in my head and turned his education over to him in some key ways. It was terrifying at first and there were some almost funny fits that ensued (funny now, not then).

Inspired by my friend who is the mother of ten and had years of homeschool experience under her belt, I found a way to put my son in charge of his education and still retain a good amount of structure, which I need and I also believe is very good for my son. I created a weekly planning sheet that had vertical columns for each school day and three horizontal sections for different categories of daily tasks.

The weekly planner sheet includes the daily essentials and other good and worthwhile personal pursuits. My requirement was to do everything in the essentials category, everyday, unless excused by mom for some reason. Then, to choose at least two a day in the other category. When he completes his planning sheet then his time is all his own for the rest of the day. — Family rules and standards still in force, of course!

The best category includes all the daily essentials including duties to God, family (family chores), and self care (personal care and chores). It includes all curriculum work in reading, writing, and arithmetic; and when they graduate to middle and high school daily work in history and science are added. The other category includes academics that aren't necessary as everyday subjects during elementary ED such as science, history, creative arts, and P.E. and a list of creative things kids can and should do everyday for their personal development. It includes art, developing a talent, personal reading for pleasure, play inside or out, build something, engaging in a family activity, field trips and outings, and/or serving someone.

(My weekly planning sheet template can viewed here. )

These weekly planning sheets were in a clip board hung in the homeschool area where he could see and use them daily. Each day he would use a highlighter to highlight each box as he completed them. He could choose to do them in any order and he made his own choices about when to start school and how to finish it. He knew he must do everything in the must do box to have any freedom at all (which to my son really means screen time because that’s what he wants). But completing the essentials got him only so much screen time (when he was younger), to get total freedom — meaning his time is his time without mom managing him — he had to complete options in the "other" section of the sheet, the purpose here is to be sure he was spending some of his time everyday in personal development beyond his academic requirements.

When my son completed the entire daily planning sheet, we began calling it a 100% day. A 100% day meant maximum freedom over his time and maximum trust from his parents. If not, he got no screen time/video games and no special activities or friends over. He could of course free-play all he wanted but none of the other stuff.

Now here’s the hard part. I had to let him fail quite a lot at first and hold to the consequences through the fits that ensued. I made it clear that I would not instruct him unless he was calm and respectful toward me as his teacher. If he threw a fit during teacher instruction time, I simply closed the book and said calmly, "You are not ready to be instructed, I'll come back when you are ready." He didn’t make wise choices at first. He planned poorly and didn’t get everything done plenty of times, and then was angry with me when he didn't earn his screen time. A few times he choose to do nothing at all — and I had to watch him do it... let him do it… thinking “Oh no! My child isn’t getting an education!!” — But I stuck to it.

I found myself befuddled when instead of us fighting as we used too -- me pushing him to get this and that done on my time table, and the fits he would throw during instruction time -- he was instead yelling at me to “get back here” when I calmly walked away, or he'd say he wanted “his other mom back” when I would say, “It’s your education, you decide how your going to get it done.” It was painful for the first few weeks — rocky for a month or so — and then the miracle happened. My son began doing his work. At first, just the must do section for a little screen time he desperately missed and wanted to earn. Then more and more. Till he was doing 100% days nearly every day.

What I found was that when my son did all of the sections each day it took a good school day to complete, and therefore, he was spending most of his time in worthy pursuit and personal development. I felt better about our structure and his accomplishment and progress and he began learning how to prioritize his time and be a self-driven learner.

Over the months he even learned that the order of subjects I had used when I was managing things was the best way (hard stuff first thing in the morning, then everything else) and he began choosing to do it that way all on his own. Over the years since I’ve made this change he has become a self-starter. He picks up his daily agendas and gets to work, he plans his instructional times with me around my schedule, he gets his work done earlier in the day realizing that if he doesn’t procrastinate he has more time for the things he enjoys. He values his freedom and his autonomy — don’t we all!

Now that he is in high-school his reward and consequence structure is different, in that I don't dole out screen-time by the "hours" per his achievement. Now he works for the privilege of adult like autonomy in our home, with the exception of some hard clad family standards over media content. What he wants is not to be controlled by his parents and be allowed to manage his own time and bed-time. For this we developed a new phased system for earning and losing privileges based on demonstrating mature character traits.

The beauty of homeschool is that your child can learn to learn independently, they can learn to be self directed, to manage their education, to take control of their own lives. It’s marvelous preparation for real life and far superior to the constant supervision and coddling they get in public school. To do it you must turn it over to them, make them responsible, set the expectations, create the structure and house rules, but stop fighting with them about it. Stop micromanaging everything. Take this leap and you will transform your homeschool.